THE BOUNCE-BACK PROTOCOL
How to rebound from any failure or setback
“If you fail, keep trying” is advice from people who have never dealt with pressure and consequence. Sometimes we fail when the stakes are high: when there is real cost for our failure.
Those are the ones that hurt us the most, that make us think we are failures.
For me, someone who plays professional baseball, I deal with failure all the time like any athlete. Maybe you’re an athlete like me, or maybe not, this lesson still applies.
In your life, you might have consequential moments that can shape your future success.
In your career:
Interviews, meetings, pitches, etc.
If you’re a student, you might have crucial exams.
We can’t just show up and ‘try again’ over and over for these. There are pivotal moments where opportunities are limited. We have to show up and win.
None of us are perfect, so sometimes things won’t go our way.
The true separator is do you let one setback compound into several? Or do you know how to bounce back with a vengeance?
The 3-Step Bounce-Back Protocol:
Relax
Reset
Reload
This is the routine I follow as a professional athlete trying to be the best every time I take the field.
Tons of pressure, hyper-competitive, unforgiving.
Momentum can be your best friend or your worst enemy: this is how I get back on top.
The goal of this protocol is to make the most of every major opportunity you get since these opportunities are limited. You cannot let one failure create another: they are independent events.
Phase 1: RELAX
You had your moment and you failed. Now your life is over.
That’s what it feels like sometimes.
Your cortisol is through the roof, serotonin tanked. You feel defeated.
This is when you are most vulnerable: when you have to come to terms that you did not live up to your own expectations.
It’s very important you calm yourself down to avoid any further damage. It is very easy to point the finger and take out your frustration on others, or make a fool of yourself and cause reputational damage.
Avoid all of that at all costs. Just take a deep breath accept what happened.
Phase 2: RESET
This is the part most people skip.
Whatever situation, event, or circumstance that didn’t go your way, if it was actually consequential and important then it’s probably going to bother you. That’s fine in the moment, but we cannot be consumed by the outcome.
Failure can be a fuel source, but it can also cause an avalanche of negativity when we are most vulnerable.
Why? Well you become what we think about most of the time. If all you think about is how you are a failure, then you will continue to be one.
Think in terms of exercise: you stress the body, then give it time to rest, and you grow stronger. Flood the body with constant stress with no rest, you become weak and fragile. We need to give the mind the rest it needs so it can recover.
Once you have relaxed and accepted the situation, you then need to find a healthy distraction to help reset the mind and get the proper rest.
Healthy distractions are things that add to your life, not take away. They recharge you rather than drain you.
Examples of healthy distractions:
Socializing with family and friends
Spending time in nature
Reading/writing
Eating good food
Examples of unhealthy distractions (avoid)
Doomscrolling
Drugs/alcohol
Partying
Binge-eating garbage food
Healthy distractions are crucial in the hours following any major setback or failure. If you have the luxury, take a drive down to the beach and just enjoy the ocean. Or sit with family and friends and enjoy each others company.
Do whatever you need to do to not be too upset when your head hits the pillow that night.
Phase 3: RELOAD
You woke up the next morning: calm, relaxed, blessed with a new day.
Disclaimer: if you’re still hung up on the past (emotionally) then you need to repeat phase 2.
Now that the dust has settled, it’s time to look back on what happened.
It was nice to forget in the moment when we needed to calm down, but just ignoring all failure entirely means we never progress.
You might also notice that nobody cares about your own failures more than you. In fact, other people probably care a lot less than you think.
So why should you be emotionally hung up on one failure? Perfect opportunity to RELOAD.
Look back through a purely objective lens at what went wrong. No emotion. Be analytical, logical.
What can you do to make sure that when you get another opportunity, you won’t make the same mistakes?
What do you need to do to get another opportunity?
That’s up to you to figure out.
Don’t just go about your day hoping that next time you’ll get better results. That’s the definition of insanity.
You are a weapon, forged in the fire of your failure, growing sharper with wisdom through every setback.
I started to follow this framework, and its remarkable how many times my best moments came not too long after I failed.
I lose a big game. Hurts in the moment. I relax, reset, and reload. Next one is one of my best.
Down but never out. One setback cannot defeat you.
Stay Winning.
-MT